Decoding Dudes: What his celebrity crush says about him
You’re dating a new guy, and you want to learn all about him. You talk to mutual friends, look him up on WikiDate, indulge in some light Google stalking…
But you, my friend, are overlooking the most revealing factoid of them all: his celebrity crush.
Here’s a handy guide to what your man’s crush says about him.
Christina Hendricks:
He likes strong women with real bodies and real opinions.
(”Or he’s just a boob guy,” says my friend Josh.)
Zooey Deschanel:
He likes illusions — and he’ll leave as soon as you reveal any part of yourself that isn’t mysterious/stylized/really freaking hard to maintain.
Don’t take it personally; if this guy ever GOT Zooey Deschanel, he’d be bummed out by her, in reality too.
Kate Middleton:
He likes classy women from a bygone era, and family is a huge priority for him. This is a good one, if you are that kind of broad.
Natalie Portman:
PROS: He’s smart, likes smart women, and won’t cheat on you.
CONS: He’s about as sexual as burnt toast.
Jessica Alba:
He likes rich, hot, icy bitches. Only go for this guy if you are a rich, hot, icy bitch.
Sofia Vergara:
Don’t be intimidated by this uber-sexy choice; he’s just a little inhibited and needs a fun, confident woman to take the reins.
Kim Kardashian:
He’s a man.
Tina Fey:
He looks at women as equals and wants a serious relationship with a girl who knows how to put him in his place — and how to laugh at herself too.
Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, or anybody dead.
Your man is sensitive, thoughtful, and has a deep respect for women.
He is also gay.
Love from a Lulu Lady…
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